Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
