I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
