Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
