Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
