It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
