Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
