i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
