this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
