I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
