I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
