the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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