Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
