If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry about my life...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
