I will die if light touches me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
