Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
