it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
