I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
