I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
