doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
