Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
