I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
