The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
