can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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