I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
