i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
