What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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