girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
