Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
