So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
