I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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