He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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