I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
