I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
