mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
