He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
