it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
