I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
