so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
