This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
