I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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