Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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