Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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