either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
