Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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