you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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