Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
