I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
