We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
