And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
