I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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