i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
