so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
