You smell like stripper and shame
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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