Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
