I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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