so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i dont even know how to be here
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
